Monday, November 24, 2008

Xtube and Relationships

So I was watching Xtube (AGAIN) instead of studying and a thought crossed my mind; I'm looking at my favorites mostly consisting of couples and I can't help but wonder what happens to an Xtube couple when they break up. You see, I still feel this begrudging tug deep inside that the women in some of these voyeuristic couples may have been coerced. Maybe they did not have a problem video taping their sex, but actually putting it out there on the Internet for all eternity is whole other ball of wax. Did they do it because they they are truly voyeurs or where they more strongly encouraged by their partners because the women were in a relationship? We can guess however when some of the xtube couples do break up because we won't see the video anymore.

Anyway, my question is, if shoving a carrot up your man's ass after riding him into the ground for a creampie shot doesn't hold your relationship together, what can? How secure would one feel in their relationship to be ready to put their faces out there in a homemade porn movie and does making such films ensure you guys will stay together?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Rivka Little - Why can’t I just be happy that Obama is president?

Yesterday, election day, we gained our first African American president. The weight of this in its historical context and what it means for our future as a country is as great for me as for everyone else. My mother marched through snow and heat and knocked on doors to register voters. My best friend’s mother saw her friend tarred and feathered in Virginia. And my step grandfather – an African American engineer who worked at a major television manufacturer – was killed when his employer asked him, with his PhD and all, to come out in the middle of the night to “clean up” a nuclear spill. I get it. Change has occurred.

But today I am experiencing a real resistance to shrieking for joy like many of friends, coworkers and my dang civil rights-era mother.

Obama’s presidency won’t, in fact, stop an NYPD officer from turning a gun on a black man and letting off 50 bullets. It won’t stop white teachers (and frankly those of other races too) from criminalizing kids of color in school and assuming that one act of bad behavior is a sign of a Hannibal Lecter to come. My guess is that at the end of Obama’s first four-year term social scientists will still be able to do the 30-year-old baby doll test and get the same results – little black girls and little white ones will reach for the white doll when asked which one is more beautiful. Doctors will still resist researching why African American men die at greater rates from medicine-resistant hypertension, stroke and heart attack.

And all of that means that my children can’t, in fact, be whatever they want to be because white people and black people alike organized to get my beloved Obama elected.

Now, I am not a complete doomsayer (yes Brucie, that word is for you. It’s the cousin of misanthrope). I believe that maybe after two Obama terms, or after a decade, the results of that baby doll test may begin to slowly shift. And it’s possible that the psychological effects of having a black president could trickle slowly into the minds of officers and teachers, doctors and employers of all kinds. But Obama stressed one word last night that so many seemed to overlook. That word was BEGINNING. This is the beginning of more change, not the end or even the middle. And while it is so much more likely that our children can be president in the future, I refuse to pull the fleece over my kid’s head that easily.

I am not one to give her or anybody an out because of race. But to tell her that things are suddenly cleared up, the road is wide open and she can fly without obstacle is unfair and undue pressure. This is the time to say to her: “This is the beginning. Take on a life of service. You can be whatever you want to be if you continue to work against the obstacles. It is your job to help Obama move and shift these obstacles. Speak out. Never remain silent. Work hard. And stay tough when these harsh realities are thrown in your face. And they will be. And I know you can be strong.”

Now, I can say hooray for two little sweet girls and their press ‘n curls in the White House.