Yet another celebrity...

...lives in my neighborhood. I passed by Jon Stewart again today with his wife and kid.
The first time I saw him was about two months ago. I just thought he was visiting someone. He had his kid on his shoulders that day. He is very short and greyer than on TV. He looked worn out too. He probably stays up all hours of the night watching CNN and shit.

The Signage Manager

My supervisor is one of those Signage Managers; the ones who think lots and lots of signage can somehow contribute to raising the student bodies' IQ level or better use their common sense to find things.

My lab now looks like the side of a NASCAR race car. I might as well be working in a Kinko's.

What Am I?

This morning on the bus, Navah asks me what I am as far as my political identity goes.

"..Well, you're not a Democrat, you're not a Republican or Communist or anarchist, what are you, daddy?"
We were on our way to her school on the Upper Eastside and Fernando Ferrer (Mayoral candidate for the Dems) had people campaigning off of 96th and Madison (I guess he was trying to hit up the white folks before heading up two to three blocks which lands him in East Harlem).

Now I have to say here that I do not take credit for my 6 year-old knowing what a Communist or an Anarchist is and the difference between the two. That is her mother's doing from the demos we have taken Navah to in the past and R explaining everything that the child sees. Those props are due to her mother (but ask her what kind of waters Stingrays and Mantas swim in, then all praise is due to Daddy!).

Anyway, someone finally asked me the question that friends, family, my wife, and even myself had never asked me: What am I?
I came to the realization back in December that I was no longer an activist, but what are my ideals today? What do I stand for? The short answer: I have no fucking clue.
The long answer: I know what I am against - police brutality or even the very institution of law enforcement, wars that are engineered to exploit natural resources, human exploitation of any kind, class oppression, any "ism" coming from the man that pisses me off, and pop culture.

But what am I for?
Why have I stopped being politically active? Why have I not sought "greener pastures" like so many of those who were activists and radical ideologues-turned-middle classed liberals? When election time comes, I vote. I vote for the Incredible Hulk, but I vote. When big shits come to town like the RCN, or the G8, I'll come out and take pics of campus-politicized activists getting gaffled, or puppet marches, but I don't attend these actions with a passion or out of a belief that the theatre performed will change people or somehow attract the unwashed masses to fight the power(!).
And labor unions? Please. It took me a year living in the Northeast where "they represent" to know that they are just tired bureaucratic ho agencies used by the Democratic party. That was definitely the case in the south where I was politically active, but I thought there were at least some radical locals in NYC, but no dice. Oh, and they are racist too.

I basically turned from @ circles in the late 90s when I realized that they too were infested with the post-modern Foucalt-Derrida tendencies and most of them can't seem to want to embrace any structure of organization outside of a classroom environment. Apocs? Scared of other POCs. There is a student ‘union’ or organization mainly based out of Hunter College that really, I think cares more about looking like
the Neo-Soul/MTV version of what a activist should look like than actually be bothered with grassroots outreach. But you know; it’s all about being post-modern (Oh, and by the way, Hunter had Madonna come to their film class the other day. I can’t believe I picked this school to transfer to as my four-year. What the fuck does Madonna have to do with film or fucking art for that matter?).

If someone was brutally honest about me (but most importantly if I were to be honest about myself) I'd say I could be labeled as a nihilists with a civil servant job; A Nihilistic Civil Servant.
But I'm sure I'm not unique as the Sixties movements have probably turned out a whole bunch of Nihilistic Civil Servants with real shit to complain about, more beautiful scars, and better war stories.

guess what?

The 2005 Apoc conference in Houston has been postponed. Wha? How'd that happen? I never would have thought that would happen!

Ok, here is one of those things that rub me the wrong way when it comes to our crunchy crispy anti-authoritarianism/anarch0-critters. They so hate it when one person decides to say 'fuck it' and organize things and try to get things done when others are just spacing out and jacking off and expressing how cool it would be if another gathering takes place,
but when someone DOES decide to say 'fuck it' and name a date, time, and place for a gathering because they are tired of seeing people twiddle their thumbs, then she/he are met with either cold silence or accusations of 'one-upmanship'. When my man left apoc (for reasons that no longer matter) I knew the shit would fall off like a badly glued toupee. Which is typical of the way things move forward today amongst the radicals; lots of talk and masturbation, but nothing getting done. Paralyzation ndue to ideological purity.
I can guarantee you that we won't see another international apoc gathering in quite some time.

A clearing

We are trying to mend chasms and in that process we have found that it is where we are living that is causing our misery, not each other. We making a list of naughty or nice cities to move too. Albany looks to be the bestest candidate.

Thank you E, for the warm words on your blog about us. We are working to make this shit better.